Well Done! You’ve won a piece of ribbon with a coin tied to it – It’s not exactly a medal is it? Medals are awarded for human bravery, paying the ultimate price fighting for your cause – Not for being able to play fucking ping-pong better than somebody else! Do these people not see the difference between taking on a whole battalion single handed, armed with nothing more than a twig and riding a pissing push-bike!

 

The Olympics are two weeks of solid gold hell for non-sports fans who couldn’t care less who can jump off half a bridge and spin about a bit, before entering a swimming pool without a splash (sometimes with their “best friend”, very curious behaviour)

 

There’s no end to the nonsense with, for instance: Boxing (I thought we already had a boxing world championship), Football (again more championships than I can be bothered to count), Archery (an outdated form of warfare – What next? The 2096 Olympics, AK47 Shooting??? ), various Swimming categories (including the world renowned, absolutely pointless Synchronised Swimming), several Equestrian forms (Dressage?!? Yes, Dressage – Panto for horses. WHY???)

 

Oh, and let’s not forget rowing – Ooh! Me and my mates can row our boat faster than you and your mates! Piss off, this is the 21st century. My boat’s got a fucking engine, dick.

 

Why not add some REAL challenges? Challenges people face in real life – They could have a ‘Feed a Family of 5 from a Council Estate for under £50 from Waitrose’. Or, ‘Who Can Recite “She sells Sea Shells on The Sea Shore” after 14 pints of Stella and a pickled egg’ – I’d have a bloody good go at that one!

 

What is The World coming to when games – yes, GAMES, make more news headlines than global conflict, mass murders & religious fanatics?

 

Where’s my Couldn’t-Give-A-Fuck-O-Meter?

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